As some of you may be aware, I am a dad (still working on making it Dad with capital D, but it's all in the cards).
My son is the most wonderful gift I have been given, and quite an example for me of interest, growth and self drive, he does however have certain "particulars" which make it hard for him to relate to other kids, and adults alike.
Years ago we found out that he had, what at the time was diagnosed as "Asperger's Syndrome", back then, it was considered by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, as a separate Syndrome, now it's just part of the Autistic Spectrum Disorder and is qualified as one of many areas on the severity scale.
In simple terms, he has a hard time socializing and interacting.
So, we take good care of what he does, and how he reacts, a few days ago, he came home with a note, he punched somebody and bloodied their lip.
Of course, as concerned parents we worried about the situation, he told us that yes he had punched them and that was about it.
So we apologized to the kid's parent's and told the teacher about our work-plan to make it better.
Yesterday at therapy we took up the subject again with the Therapist (lovely woman that I recommend highly), and I expanded on it from what Jr told me had happened, apparently he punched the kid because they were teasing and otherwise mistreating another infant.
The therapist said "that's totally expected, kid's with this type of syndrome, do not deal well with injustice, and they will react explosively".
That made me think hard, and well, should we ALL not react the same way? You know maybe not punching people, but interfering and acting so that the action, injustice or otherwise abuse is stopped?
We're dealing with Jr's acts a step at a time, but really, is standing by and letting others be trampled on, and abused the norm now? Are we so far disconnected from our fellow people that it's "normal" to let them be?
In my case, I rather not walk away, and do something, I remember my grand-dad telling me we should always step in and act fairly and ensure that others are not oppressed or abused, that the little ones, be them children or defenseless people, NEED us to step in.
I was reminded of course of a passage in "Ender's Game", where Ender is bullied and reacts accordingly. As kids are about to gang up on him, he makes a decision to fight in such a way and defend himself so that others will really think long and hard before bullying him again:
Can't think of anything to answer. Anything I say will make it worse. So will saying nothing.
"Hey, Third, hey, turd, you flunked out, huh? Thought you were better than us, but you lost your little birdie, Thirdie, got a bandaid on your neck."
"Are you going to let me through?" Ender asked.
"Are we going to let him through? Should we let him through?" They all laughed. "Sure we'll let you through. First we'll let your arm through, then your butt through, then maybe a piece of your knee."
The others chimed in now. "Lost your birdie, Thirdie. Lost your birdie, Thirdie."
Stilson began pushing him with one hand, someone behind him then pushed him toward Stilson.
"See-saw, marjorie daw," somebody said.
"Tennis!"
"Ping-pong!"
This would not have a happy ending. So Ender decided that he'd rather not be the unhappiest at the end. The next time Stilson's arm came out to push him, Ender grabbed at it. He missed.
"Oh, gonna fight me, huh? Gonna fight me, Thirdie?"
The people behind Ender grabbed at him, to hold him.
Ender did not feel like laughing, but he laughed. "You mean it takes this many of you to fight one Third?"
"We're people, not Thirds, turd face. You're about as strong as a fart!"
But they let go of him. And as soon as they did, Ender kicked out high and hard, catching Stilson square in the breastbone. He dropped. It took Ender by surprise he hadn't thought to put Stilson on the ground with one kick. It didn't occur to him that Stilson didn't take a fight like this seriously, that he wasn't prepared for a truly desperate blow.
For a moment, the others backed away and Stilson lay motionless. They were all wondering if he was dead. Ender, however, was trying to figure out a way to forestall vengeance. To keep them from taking him in a pack tomorrow. I have to win this now, and for all time, or I'll fight it every day and it will get worse and worse.
I am sure the execution wasn't the best possible scenario, we will definitely make sure that he tones it down accordingly, but I can't really fault Jr for stepping in, maybe if we all did, life would be different for those being bullied.
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