Vacations, Vacant Memories, and Vague Dreams

This post will have less pictures that some of my other ones,  the Scanner is stuck in a box somewhere and well... I don't want to take grainy pictures of pictures with my phone just so I can post them here, so... Not many pictures, or at least not the pictures I have at hand.

A lot of this post will have to take place in your imagination as well, I guess I'll have to be quite more descriptive for that to happen, so I'll do my best to be a decent writer and create the environment.

September, has always been a transitioning month for me, back in Highschool, while not starting classes back then (our schedule is a bit off from the US, our School year starts in Feb-March), we did have a new set of activities, the year changed, Exams started and on September 1st, my dad's birthday came on.

I loved his Birthday, it was always full of people and happiness and cooking.

His last birthday, the one we spent together before he passed away, was a weird affair though.

My Dad, well, step-dad had a family before me and my mom, cool people, we don't get along though, and that Birthday they asked him to go and see them early and spend time with them, so he felt maybe, it would be nice, and we cancelled our plans.  Weren't really going to do anything for it, we'd wait a few days.

Turns out the "noble gesture" was asking him early so he could pick up the shirt they got him as a present so they ALL could go to the beach without him.

My dad was a bit broken up about it.  Back then I was 20, so, 13 years ago, I didn't have a job outside of working with my family (that is him and my mom) and my salary was pretty much enough to go out sometimes and chill, but not exorbitant.

Hearing that my dad was going to spend a birthday without celebrating was something I would not stand for, I called in a LOT of favours, and managed to get us into a restaurant that had JUST opened (it was opening night), so, me, my mom and my girlfriend celebrated all out as Rock Stars on that new Fusion restaurant.

Then, after that, we went to the casino and had a grand time, he even made a killing on the floor as well.  He cried for a while and we got really emotional about it, that was our last birthday together, while I didn't know THAT at the time, I felt that this was the least we could do for each other, be happy, enjoy life, and face it together as well.

Ever since his passing, September, and September 1st to be honest are weird hard months for me.  It used to be that they were hard on me and my mom, but, as luck would have it, she's not here anymore either.

6 Months now, six months have passed since my mom left us, and it ended up being that THIS September both dates would hit me harder than expected.

So it didn't surprise me when come September (1st at that) I woke up with a face covered in tears.

Why was that you'd say?  Well you would if you were real and sitting in front of me.  Maybe, as it stands you are a screen full of text right now and not capable of retort.  So, well, you did say it anyway, stop being picky.

I had a dream about my parent's.  It was weird in the way dreams tend to be weird, so stuff was out of place but not so much so that bending Physics, reality and the overall structure of the universe WASN'T weird.

In this dream, I had somehow attained a time machine, and managed to meet my parent's at one of their vacation spots, I believe it was Dominican Republic, or Jamaica.  Definitely the Caribbean.

So, there I was, at a bar on top of the Sea it was on a bay, and they had built right on top of the ocean, people swam to it and climbed a ladder onto the bar.


So there I was, feeling like a cool Bond Character type, when I see them, walking up the beach, hand in hand, all smiles and happiness like I remember them, in love and totally in control I guess.

They didn't recognise me, of course they wouldn't know me as I am now (or so my dream self thought), and we struck a conversation.  Emotional as I was in the dream, it never prepared me for what continued, as not only did we strike a conversation, but we became friendly to each other.

Here's the thing, I always was friends with them while they were alive, but to feel their acknowledgement, and to know that if life had not been as kind to me as it was, and had I been born of other parents I could STILL have been their friend?  That just did me in.

We struck our good byes, and farewells, and I saw them leave, and here is where I woke, face full of tears, and a heart sunk inside me.  Not only do I miss my parents, I miss our friendship.  I miss our closeness.

Sometimes, I wish, I could just let it all Pass, and wake when September ends...