Early Morning musings... for a late afternoon :P

So, ever since my mom passed away, I've been trying to maintain a modicum of HER order and HER ideas at home.  It's a condition.  I don't really deal well with imposed changes I rather feel things are being changed BY me or WITH me, and not just... you know, having a hand that was dealt to me and tough luck.

So, one of the things I am doing in order to try and get a bit of the control back on it, is to sleep at my mom's old room.  Or what shall heretofore be referred to as "THE MASTER bedroom".  In caps.  It sounds like a novel.  Or special room.  Wish I had a butler, I'd call him Jeeves.  Don't care what his last name is, he WILL be Jeeves (note to self, find a Jeeves and make sure he's British, otherwise they will be rubbish).

So, after sleeping for a while in "THE MASTER bedroom", I've come to appreciate something I didn't know we had.  Dawn.

Sure, I KNOW there is a dawn everyday, I mean I assumed there was mostly because people didn't complain about the sudden lack of "transition" from night to day.  But honestly I never saw it.

My room was located to the south of the house, so, SW location made it great for sunsets, not so for whatever the space between night and day was.


But, my mom did see it daily, she made an effort, even when her health had declined to appreciate dawn. 

Near the end, she was not totally bedridden, she was an impressively strong woman, at less than 20% lung capacity, she still got up, walked around (to the best of her ability) and DID chores and drove.

I will never be able to tell her directly how amazed I am about this.  All I did back then was tell her "mom, slow down, you need to take it easy, remember slow but surely things get done".  She never took shit slow.  Ever.

Like NEVER ever.

If you met my mom, you'd know right then and there that anything but an instant response to stuff was too slow.

As annoying as that was, I loved it about her, it was never rash or impulsive behavior.  She knew exactly what she was doing.

And just like a Wizard, she was never late or early, she was precisely where she needed to be at any time.

Right now, is not the time for her to be with me, and I can deal with that, not that I wanted it to be this way though.